As you know, I am a millennial or “twenty-something”. If you are the same and a female, I’m sure you know or have experienced exactly what I am about to write about: The Pressures of Engagement and Marriage.
Personally, my workplace is about 95% female and about 80% married/engaged, so that’s one dimension of it. I’m all busy talking about the boozy brunch I had with twenty of my friends whilst the rest of my coworkers are telling me how the remodel of their kitchen is going. “Going out for drinks after work?”, I ask. Nope, gotta get home to my fiance/husband, (CHILDREN?!). Keep in mind that I am generalizing, I’m sure there are some married couples that love going to boozy brunches as much as my boyfriend and I do.
Secondly, my social media feeds are completely packed with girls with their left hand out, perfectly manicured, talking about how amazing the rest of their life will be with their “best friend.” Literally a year ago, if you asked me what type of ring I wanted, I would have said “a diamond ring”. Nowadays, I somehow know what cut, what band, and what material I want. I’m still trying to figure out how people know carat size by eye…
Also, the fact that a large majority of my friends are either talking to me consistently about how they want their proposal to go, what exact ring they want, what their bridesmaid dresses are going to be, the importance of save the dates, the downsides of a plated dinner. Yikes! Me being me, this completely puts me into meeting planner mode and I already feel like I need to start prepping now!
Yes, I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now, we live together, and I have a dog that he helps me take care of sometimes. In the grand scheme of things, two years is pretty short. But the absolute worst is when friends try to peer-pressure my boyfriend about getting engaged. Not only does that make both of us feel absolutely uncomfortable, it makes him feel like he’s a bad boyfriend when in reality he’s not! Furthermore, I don’t even have a clue about when I want to get engaged or married or have children. I’m sure when the time comes I’ll know, but I want to make sure it feels right for the both of us…my biological clock can wait!
I get that my first two points, all my married & engaged friends are just really happy and excited about where they are in their relationships and probably don’t intend for this to pressure anyone else. Let me say, I’m happy for you all too! I think, in conclusion, I think that social media really amplifies the material aspects of engagement, and also makes us “just-dating” girls more aware and stressed out of the influx of engagements. I think us single-girls (or just myself…) really need to focus on the fact that two people who are in love make a mutual decision on when to decide that they want to spend the rest of their lives together and to do it on their own schedule. And fuck the pressures and stressors.
It’s a rough world out there, girls. And, keep tuned for my post about “How to Get Your Boyfriend to Propose To You By Tomorrow!”…..Kidding, kidding! Also an early link up.